Tuesday, February 3, 2009
Missing Marbles...I Mean Buttons
THAT, was a close one. I had to sacrifice my secret identity as Button Man, but tragedy was averted. Now the townspeople will not have to run from the Hezilla (her name is Hezaa in Japan) that this travesty surely would have spawned. The Japanese have had to deal with enough of these supernatural creatures. But what will they do when she can't find the hat that she is wearing? Are my powers limited to the realm of buttons, or am I the Fantastic Four of brain farts? Only time will tell...
This message has been approved by the Heather Phipps and is not subject to scrutiny under the laws of mood swings (I know what you're thinking; this is like a release form that superficially frees parties from legal recourse, when we know that no such thing is possible. And you're right)
Friday, January 23, 2009
Science is Scary
Monday, January 19, 2009
Mooovies
Double Warning: May Contain Highly Subjective Opinions (but probably not).
I first saw Slumdog Millionaire about a month ago. It started out as an entertaining flick. A young child suffers the hardships of growing up in a slum in India, but manages to get by with a positive outlook on life. Who wouldn't want to hear a story like that? Well, I wouldn't want to if the story was bottled in the very factories that exploit poverty (not that it isn't a mutually beneficial relationship). The pretty packaging abstracts away the means by which it is delivered at such a wonderfully low price.
SLC Punk teaches you that you can't wear a uniform to become punk, and South Park teaches you that you can't go to Hot Topic to become goth (if you learn everything from film and TV, like me). Similarly, just because they cover a kid in poop and blind another doesn't mean they're capturing a life in poverty. And if that's not the goal, why am I watching this movie? And why are you covering a kid in poop?! Maybe to shock you enough so they can shove something down your throat without you noticing.
It was still an entertaining movie, but it promised too much in the beginning and left me feeling let down. Not long after seeing that movie I happened to come across a couple movies that got very high ratings on IMDb (both top #70 all-time). I was very excited to see these movies, because it isn't often that a truly good movie comes out. They were The Wrestler and The Curious Case of Benjamin Button. I watched them as soon as I could.
The Wrestler was AWESOME! It is a little bit intense at first, but it wasn't too much for Heather, so it should be fine even for children as young as six. This movie may not provoke life-changing thoughts, but that's not something I expect from a movie. This movie felt like a true snapshot of some part of the world. It entertains you with its unfamiliarity (like Slumdog), and captivates you with its reality (unlike Slumdog).
After seeing The Wrestler, I was excited by the possibility of watching another great movie rather than the typical distraction I that keeps me company while I work. I'm talking about movies that are almost too distracting in how bad they are (although they do produce the occasional gem, such as "karate-chop sandwich"). I tried to wait until Heather had time to watch the movie, but I couldn't wait.
I should have known what was coming. With a name like The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, you can't expect much. I was hoping it would result in something as unexpected as Death to Smoochy, but it didn't. This movie was even worse than the typical big-budget distraction. Unlike The Wrestler, it constantly judged the characters. I saw a review that contrasted it with 2001: A Space Odyssey. I think that was the perfect way to criticize this movie. I'd like to call The Curious Case of Benjamin Button Hollywood Buddhism/nihilism and 2001: A Space Odyssey compelling nihilism/apathy/misanthropy.
Such a highly ranked movie was so unexpectedly terrible. I later looked at Slumdog Millionaire's ranking and saw that it was right up there as well. I wish I had seen that earlier so I wouldn't have expected so much. Apparently, inflation applies to movie ratings as well.
I didn't go into much detail, but you get the point; see The Wrestler (and like it)!
P.S. - Redbelt!
Beer and Ice Cream
Chris: I could go get you a beer and some ice cream. That would be pretty good.
Heather: That would be perfect, but I should probably just eat some carrots and go to sleep. (goes to the kitchen, opens the fridge, and gets the carrots out)
Chris: Aren't you saving those for a recipe?
Heather: Well, I guess it's beer and ice cream.
Sunday, January 11, 2009
I'm Serious, Stop Laughing
Saturday, January 10, 2009
Thailand: Ramblings
Snorkeling is much cooler and much more difficult than I thought it would be. We went around a small island (a few acres), and it was completely surrounded by coral (except for the boat docking area) that was just a a couple feet below the surface. There were few places where you could even bring your head above the water because you'd hit the coral with your legs. There were plenty of places we couldn't go because it was too shallow. One time I thought I had room to come up to clean my goggles, and when I put my head back down, I was inches from hitting several large sea urchins with my stomach. The coral seemed to go out indefinitely, but we weren't there long enough to do anything other than circumnavigate the island. It would have been fun to go farther out where it may have gotten deeper.
On our trip to Ko Phi Phi, we ended up on the gay tour, which provided a little comic relief(Brendan, this one is pretty much a layup).
Thailand: No Walk in the Park
If I made Erdem sound like too much of a wimp with the last post, re-read my post about my first long ride. If it still seems that way, maybe I didn't go into enough detail about how miserable I felt mid-ride. Then again, maybe I did. It should also be noted that my friend, Catherine, becomes incomprehensible when missing a meal or bedtime by a couple hours any day of the week.
Despite us taking it easy on the last leg (85%) of our trip, there were many hardships faced. Rather than go into detail, out of frustration, I will quickly list them:
Our first meal after the long ride was in the sketchiest place I would ever eat (well, almost). Our complimentary appetizer was a plate of plants. I say plants because I feel the word vegetable has connotations that I don't feel are appropriate. The first entree was uncooked, despite what I expected. Maybe my expectations were the problem considering the waitress clearly didn't understand a single word of English. Although my mind hesitated, my body did not. That first entree was gone in seconds.
My second entree was clearly the result of a mishap in the kitchen. I'm guessing a bottle of MSG lost its top directly over my food. Erdem's food, however, was pleasantly cooked and spiced. The small bit of garnish that wasn't cooked, he decided, was too delicious to keep to himself. That set precedent for him insisting that I try anything too "scrumptious" for him to keep to himself; primarily, seafood and uncooked food.
The next day, we searched for a barber to get a shave. The place we arrived at was more of a salon. To our surprise, they also provided shaves. That wasn't the only surprise, however. For instance, I was quite surprised to find that the blade they used on me was very dull. In an effort to not be a wuss nor embarrass the guy giving me the shave, I said nothing. The reason it might embarrass him is the guy who cut my hair handed the task over to him and seemed to take notes.
I was also surprised to receive a not-so-insignificant cut. Erdem said he looked over and saw a fair amount of blood. I was pretty certain what had happened when, in the post-shave clean up, they were tending to me like a cutman in a boxing match.
The ride to Phuket involved a short sleep in a train bed, followed by a few hours in the back of a pickup. It was a little cold and uncomfortable (great, now it's getting hard to make things even sound tough).
After we got settled on the island, we went out for a bike ride. It was supposed to be a relaxing ride along the beach, but the beach road ended pretty quickly. After that, it was either go back, or go up. The hill that followed was the steepest I had ridden on before, but not since. At the end of that hill, we were greeted by a nice restaurant.
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Thailand: Actual
I finally got to the hotel and put my bike together by about 8pm. When I got to the room, Erdem was fast asleep. I guess he wasn't very worried. We filled each other in on the details of our trip. Erdem told me that before he had left, one of his tubes popped in his apartment. He said it was so loud that his ears were ringing. When Erdem got his bike at the baggage claim, he put it together immediately. While in the baggage claim, he began pumping up his tires, and he kept pumping them up, until they popped. He said people were looking around and ducking. I'm surprised he wasn't arrested. I then go over and feel his tires and they are solid as a rock. He decided to let a little air out of them. In all fairness, my tires have been continually under-inflated. I've gone through more tubes than him because of this. I guess we both learned a little.
We then decided to go out for a bite to eat. I put on my sandals and we left the hotel. My first step off of the hotel property and my only footwear fails me.
This was not the start I was looking for. Luckily, we were still in the city, so it was pretty easy to find a cheap pair of sandals. They were only a couple of sizes too small, so they would suffice. After that, we went to the backpacker area, Khao San Road, to get something to eat. I got a couple entrees to get a few more calories for the trip. After all, 600 miles is a long way.
In that same spirit, we filled up at the hotel's breakfast buffet before we left the next morning. By 7am, we were on the road. The route was a little tough to follow, but Erdem had GPS and Google Maps on his phone, so it wasn't that bad. We just had to stop every once in a while. After about 30 min, we were well on our way out of the city and onto the first highway. The roads were flat and in good condition, the heat wasn't too bad, and it wasn't very windy. Conditions were pretty ideal.
Things started to take a turn at around 20 miles. Right as we were about to get on the major highway, I look back and Erdem is nowhere in sight. After backtracking a little bit, I see Erdem sitting on the side of the road. Luckily, he hadn't crashed, but had a bad cramp in his back. His backpack was too heavy. When he decided to throw some of his clothes and other stuff away, I decided to take on as much of it as I could. We started riding again, but it wasn't enough. The cramp was already there. We ended up having to stop every mile or so. This was not a good start at all. It was not looking good.
Erdem had taken about 10 Advil when he first stopped, and they eventually starting taking effect. Thank god for that. After about 30 miles, we finally started getting into a groove. We rode for about an hour straight at over 20mph before we stopped again. We stopped at a little restaurant on the side of the road for some water and Pepsi. At the restaurant, as with what seemed to be the rest of Thailand, there were some stray animals to keep us company. We decided to ride for another 2 hours before stopping for lunch, so we each ate a Clif bar and started the next 40 mile leg of our trip. The sugar and caffeine must have given Erdem a real boost because we were now riding about 10% faster. Things were starting to look good again.
Things started to take another turn an hour later. With 37km to go, Erdem started hitting a wall. We progressively started having to stop at shorter and shorter intervals. What was supposed to take 1 more hour ended up taking about 2 hours. Phetchaburi and, therefore, food started to seem farther and farther away.
By the time we reached Phetchaburi, it was a much more serious milestone than we had planned. Phetchaburi certainly didn't diminish the accomplishment.
Erdem was in agreement. He was finished. He could barely stand up, literally. I wish I had taken a picture, but he fell over on his bike right after we got to the town. By the time we found a place to eat, he barely seemed conscious. It was probably for the better, though. Being conscious let's you get distracted by things like the fact that the restaurant you're eating at doubles as a daycare.
Or that the city is crawling with monkeys.
So we were finally eating a real meal after our 7 hour trip and 20 minutes of trying to communicate what we wanted to eat. After about 7 small entrees and a gallon of water, we were ready to go. We had about 45 miles to our final destination for the night, Hua Hin. Unfortunately, we were not going to be doing that by bike. We had seen a sign for a train station, so we decided to take the train the rest of the way. We could use the help if we were going to be doing this for another 3 or 4 days...
We were lucky to make it to the train station just in time to catch the next train. Erdem made a few friends on the train. They probably took about 5 camera phone pictures with him. They were this guy and about 7 mulsim girls. It wasn't all friendly faces, though. There was a strange guy giving us an evil death-stare with blood-shot eyes the whole ride. To be fair, he was probably just looking at us.
After we got off in Hua Hin, we talked to a woman who recommended a hotel on the water. Her directions involved going past the Hilton. It took a lot of self-restraint for Erdem to follow that part of the directions. When we got to the hotel, we got a room with AC, of course. Unfortunately, we didn't realize we could turn it down, so I spent the whole night going between being too hot under the covers and being bitten by mosquitoes without the covers. It wasn't until morning that we discovered the dial that controls the AC. In case you're interested, air conditioning is called "air cond" in Thailand, as if it were discovered through the options list of a discount rental car company.
After waking up late, eating breakfast, and wasting a few hours, Erdem announced that he wasn't going to be able to ride 45 miles that day to the last town before the 120 miles stretch with no big cities, which was already out of the question to ride. We figured, we might as well enjoy ourselves if we weren't going to do any riding that day. This is probably where the reality of the trip departed from the plan. Our next move was a haircut and shave.
At this point, all bets were off. We finally came to the conclusion that we should just get to Phuket as quickly as possible and do as much good riding there as we were willing. So that night, we took a train to Surat Thani.
Yay, we made it. That was much easier than we thought it would be.
The first thing we did when we arrived was get a hotel, with AC.
Thailand: Expected
The distance between the airports is almost 600 miles, and would definitely be more with the inevitable detours taken into consideration. After all, we did want some time to relax at the beaches along the way. We wanted to spend a couple days in Phuket, so we had to make the trip in 4-5 days. We figured that 150 miles/day would get us there in the right amount of time. To do that much riding, I brought about 15 Clif bars that were certain to be necessary. I also brought some tupperware and plastic bags to save food from restaurants. We were going to need to eat a lot of food.
Even eating as much food as I could, I knew it wouldn't be enough to maintain my weight. I ate more food than average for the week before the trip to gain a little extra weight that I would surely lose on the trip. That was definitely a good start to the trip.
In short, we were expecting a tough trip.
Saturday, December 6, 2008
Death Rattle
You might think that Heather is equally sad about my lack of posts, but this was supposed to be a follow-up to my post about Heather's TV-watching; better late than never. I'm not going to try to think of anything clever to say because the picture says it all.
This is a picture from the top floor of our building. As you can see, the park next to our apartment is pretty awesome. The buildings at the bottom left of the picture are part of the British embassy. For those of you who like seasons, you can see that, despite it's temperate weather, Tokyo has them. There are some very impressive views.
This was on another 5 hour ride down a different river. In case you're wondering, this wasn't a particularly beautiful spot, it's just where I happened to get a flat tire. As a fixed my tire, I watched everyone ride by on their silent, perfectly-maintained bikes. I was loudly squeaking for all 120km of this ride. It's pretty embarrassing. Just as I haven't taken the time to post, I haven't taken the time to figure out how to properly take care of my bike. I wish I didn't have to keep it outside. That would make it much easier.
This was just another farm area I passed on my ride. I think it's impressive how many of these you'll see around the city. Tokyo definitely has the weather for it.
I leave for Thailand in less than 2 weeks now, so my next post may be in 3 weeks. Hopefully, it will be sooner. There was a funny public service ad in the subway, so I might try to get a picture of that and post it.
Monday, November 24, 2008
...And Up Close
This was a hookah bar we went to with Spencer, his girlfriend, and her friend. That is Spencer in the background. This is the second time Heather has seen Spencer since she was 7, and I was with her the last time she saw him. It's fun because we're getting to know some of her family, together.
I had a great time in Hong Kong and would love to go back, but right now my sights are set on Thailand.
Hong Kong at a Glance
This is a picture of the area where he works and lives from the other side of the harbor. The tall building to the right was in the new Batman movie, and the second tallest building, in the middle, is I.M. Pei's Bank of China building.
This is a picture of the sun coming up over the east side of Hong Kong Island, where there are more residential buildings.
Bruce Lee!
Sunday, November 9, 2008
Grey's Depressing Anatomy--Hilarious
I think what's happening here is Heather is watching some doctor losing a patient, or dropping a kidney on the floor, or discovering the difficulties of workplace romance. My bet would be on the first one, because that can be particularly poignant.
Booyah! I was right. I can't wait until next week's episode. I hear Heather might watch some doctor learn some lesson in humility, or something.
In case you're worried about her brain, don't be. Above is a cross-section of the other half of her brain. It's a nice contrast. The collision of the two halves provides endless entertainment.PS - No Heathers were harmed in the making of this show, or blog. Consent to share this information was verbal, and implied by not putting your hand up in front of your face while I took your picture, so please don't sue or bite me.
Saturday, November 8, 2008
Costco Japan: Where Immoderate Moderation Meets Inefficient Efficiency
Even though the nearest Costco would have been a pain to travel to by subway, it wasn't too bad of a bike ride. It was about 20 km away on a very simple and direct route. I noticed that their website mentioned they had a delivery service, so I took a chance. Just in case I couldn't use their delivery service, I brought a duffel bag. I have small duffel bag that conveniently has straps on the bottom so you can wear it as a backpack. It's one of those features where you say, "Wow! How useful," but never end up using it. After 6 years of owning the bag, the feature finally proved itself.
This is a bridge I crossed along the way. The Costco was only about 2km beyond this bridge. You may not be able to tell, but the area on the other side of the bridge is a little more industrial. A fitting place for a Costco, I suppose.
When I got there, it closely resembled any other Costco. The only differences were the nationality of the clientele, and the language of the translations. Even when I applied for membership, I ended up being served by a guy from San Francisco who went to school at BU. That's hitting pretty close to home.
I shouldn't say those were the only differences, they were just the most immediate ones. Japanese moderation had also worked its way into Costco. It ended up being a nice balance. I get a discount and won't have to go shopping as often, but we can still fit the things we purchase in our apartment, barely. Let's just say, the drawers we recently discovered under our bed are now used as food storage.
Another subtle difference might be the items that are sold. It was mostly stuff you would find in an American Costco, but there were a lot of exceptions. Above is the most obvious exception that I noticed. An un-chilled bag of orange "Fish Stick." With a name like that, you'd expect something more like this in Japan: http://www.japanwindow.com/images/20050803052614_050725_nagano-fish0.jpg.
It was a great move to start putting olive oil in plastic bottles. I have dropped a full bottle of olive oil on the floor, and the pain of the instant flashback to holding the plastic bottle in one hand and the glass bottle in the other, weighing my options, was enough to justify the future purchase of plastic. The ensuing clean-up of glass and oil just sealed the deal. It also seems logical to shrink wrap two bottles together. But to, then, wrap that package in several layers of cellophane seems a little overboard; especially when you only have dull knives around the house.
No biggie; yay for Costco, yay for Japan, yay for bikes, and double yay for double food.